


Exit, Pursued by a Lion

by delectable_murder



Series: Jed & Octavius [2]
Category: Night at the Museum (Movies)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Cultural Differences, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Violence, References to Animal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 07:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16593848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delectable_murder/pseuds/delectable_murder
Summary: A new addition to the Colosseum wreaks havoc in the Roman diorama and it's up to Jed and Octavius to dispose of it.Things don't quite go to plan.





	Exit, Pursued by a Lion

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have no idea if the miniatures are even capable of bleeding or sustaining injuries in the movie but let's just say they can for the sake of this story.

‘Jedediah, there are Romans jumpin' outta the earth!’

From the bedroll in the corner of the tent, a certain blond cowboy grunts in his sleep and sluggishly turns over. A twenty-minute nap is all he asked for, after hours working away at that damned railroad, and there is  _no way_  he’s getting up for what is clearly a practical joke cooked up by his friends. And not a very good one at that.

Hands grasp his shoulders and begin to shake him, ‘didn’t you hear me? Roman soldiers! Poppin’ outta the ground like jackrabbits!’

‘What in the Sam Hill are you talkin’ about, Butch?’ Jedediah finally replies, curling further into the blankets until he looks like a giant caterpillar, ‘have you boys got nothin’ better to do than fool around?’

‘It’s the truth, cross my heart! We were fixin’ up the wagons and they just started scalin’ up the wall. Thousands of ’em! It’s an invasion!’

‘Butch, have you been drinkin’?’

‘No…well, yeah, a little,’ the burly man coughs awkwardly, ‘but on my momma’s life, I aint lyin’. C’mon, come see for yourself!’

The tugging persists, until Jed gives in, ‘alright, alright! Gimme a sec,’ he wriggles out of his bedroll, searching around for his boots, ‘but I swear, if this is you and Chuck pullin’ my leg again, I’ll tan  _both_  your hides.’

He follows clumsily after Butch, pulling up his pants and making a mental oath to pitch a tent on the mountain top where no one will be able to bother him, especially with nonsense like this. The two dioramas have had their differences in the past, but relations have been peaceful for years now. There is no way Octavius would allow –

He grinds to a halt on the dirt road overlooking the train tracks and slowly drinks in the sight below.

Butch had been exaggerating. There aren’t exactly  _thousands_  of Romans cluttering up the diorama (in fact, according to Larry, there are only about one hundred and fifty Roman miniatures altogether, including Octavius’s army.) But there are a lot of them, running around as frantic as road lizards. Jedediah’s men have formed a defensive barrier in front of the railroad, anticipating an attack but quickly disperse when he signals for them to back down.

This certainly isn’t an invasion. Among the soldiers are women and children and they are obviously  _fleeing_  from something. But what worries Jedediah is that there is no sign of Octavius among the crowd; clearly there has been some sort of disaster over in the Roman diorama and knowing Octavius, he’s gotten his people out and stayed to defend the city all by himself.

If he wasn’t so concerned, Jed would smile. Octavius truly is the bravest man he has ever met in his life. But right now, he’s likely in danger and Jed must think fast before the situation escalates any further.

‘Butch, I need you and the others to round everybody up before this gets out of hand. Chuck and I will go find Octavius.’

The colour drains out of Butch’s face, ‘and exactly what am I supposed to do with this lot? Half of ’em don’t even speak English!’ 

‘Put ’em all in the saloon or somethin’,’ Jed replies impatiently, ‘or get Amos to play his banjo, I’m sure they’d love a hoedown. I don’t care what you do, just do  _somethin_ ’!’

He grabs Chuck and moves on before Butch can argue, weaving through the sea of people and occasionally tipping his hat to the few soldiers he recognises from Octavius’s squad – ‘hey there, Cato.’ ‘How’s it going, Brutus?’ ‘Antonius! Long time, no see!’ – until they reach the rope that leads to the museum floor and shimmy down it once it is clear.

There are a few stragglers left behind, including several centurions who, to Jed’s horror, are battered and bloody as they limp to safety. A wounded tribune is the last to appear over the side of the Roman diorama but halfway down, his injuries get the better of him and Chuck sprints over to break his fall as the rope slips from his grasp.

From the looks of things, Felix has tangled with the big guns and lost.

‘Felix!’ Jed drops to his knees as Chuck carefully lowers the soldier to the floor and cradles him in his arms, blood staining his vest, ‘the hell is going on around here? What happened?’

‘It came out of nowhere,’ Felix gasps, his face disturbingly pale, ‘the giants, they…I don’t know what they did but when we woke up, there was a lion in the Colosseum.’

‘There are  _lions_ in the Colosseum?!’ Jed exclaims, feeling his stomach go tight, ‘what kind of sick bastard would put a damn lion in a building full of people?’

‘Not lions – just one lion. Lions are often used for sport in our culture,’ Felix pants, clutching the large gash on his hip, ‘but we’ve never had any here. They must have decided to put one in while we slept.’

‘There’s only one? You have a whole army, why didn’t you just kill it?’

‘We can’t, the giant forbade it.’

‘Larry won’t let you? That’s insane!’

‘Octavius says it’s not his fault. There are higher powers who would see Mr Daley punished if anyone tampers with the new exhibit.’

‘Shit.’

‘We tried to keep it penned in the Colosseum, but it escaped and caught us off guard,’ Felix winces, beginning to slump against Chuck’s chest, ‘Octavius...ordered for the city to be evacuated...until the giants could intervene...a-and we distracted it for as long as we could. I-I feared for our general’s life…I stood between him and the beast and—’

The soldier’s body begins to shake, and Jed quickly hushes him before he can go into shock, ‘you’re one brave son of a bitch, Felix. You’re gonna be fine, just relax. Chuck here will get you patched up. I’ll go help Octy.’

‘Please,  _hurry._ ’ Felix urges quietly, weak from blood loss and he clings to Chuck as he is carefully carried to the Western diorama, leaving Jed alone on the museum floor.

* * *

Finding Octavius is easier than Jed had previously anticipated. As soon as he’s scooted up the rope to the Roman city, he spots the general lingering around the bathhouse, sword in hand. He doesn’t appear to be injured, save for a few specks of blood on his armour.

‘Octy!’ Jed cries as soon as he sees him, forgetting that his noise could easily lead the lion right to them; but as soon as he is close enough, Octavius sheathes his blade and throws his arms around the cowboy’s neck.

‘Jedediah, my heart. What are you doing here? I pledged to deal with this beast myself so no one else would get hurt.’

‘You can’t do this alone,’ replies Jed, trying not to let his voice shake at the memory of Felix and the battered soldiers and knowing Octavius could have ended up the same, ‘I saw what happened to the others and I won’t let that happen to you.’

‘My people...Felix, are they...?’

‘They’re safe, Octy. Felix is with Chuck. But don’t even think about tryin’ to send me back because I’m stayin’ right here. We’re in this together, like always, okay?’

Octavius knows that arguing is futile with someone as stubborn as Jedediah. He draws away from the embrace and presses their lips together, the kiss feather-light. ‘I managed to corner the beast in one of the chambers and sealed the door off,’ he mumbles against the cowboy’s mouth, ‘now all we must do is figure out what to do with it.’

‘A lot of crazy fuss for one lion if you ask me,’ Jed replies, ‘screw what Larry says, I would have put it down the moment it got loose.’

‘I think he assumed that we would be able to handle it until he made arrangements for its removal. But we’ve never had lions here before. And this one is  _huge_. It knocked down three of my men with one blow.’

‘So, what are we going to do? If we don’t sort this mess out before the sun comes up, there’ll be one hundred and forty-nine Romans in the goddamn Western diorama tomorrow, and then Gigantor will  _really_  be in trouble.’

Octavius gives a defeated shrug. In all his years of service, he’s never felt so hopeless. And now Jedediah’s life is at risk as well as his own. If he ever gets his hands on whoever decided that it would be a good idea to add a lion to the Colosseum, by Jupiter, he’ll –

‘We should not tarry then,’ he says nervously, unable to look Jedediah in the eye, ‘though, should anything go wrong, I fear this may be our last adventure together. Who would have thought that Rome would fall at the hand - or paw - of a rogue lion?’

Jed gives him a playful nudge, though it feels like a belt is tightening around his gut, squeezing and squeezing, ‘oh, cheer up. You’ve tamed a giant squirrel before. And remember that spider that got in last week? You were the only one who could talk it down and make it less terrifyin'. You could be a lion whisperer for all we know.’

‘I very much doubt that, my love,’ says Octavius but Jedediah’s words seem to have calmed his nerves, if only slightly, ‘come then. I shall attempt to negotiate with this creature; if it refuses to see reason, we shall dispose of it quickly and humanely. Should Larry find out, I’ll accept the consequences.’

‘I’m sure they’ll be able to replace a damn lion miniature,’ Jed grumbles, taking out his guns from their holsters. Even if they don’t shoot real bullets, they can damn well make a lion’s eyes water if he hits it on the nose hard enough.

* * *

As soon as they reach the door of the private baths, Jedediah hears movement coming from the room on the other side and the faint splashing of water. The reality of the situation finally dawns on him and he reaches out to take Octavius’s free hand.

‘Could be our last stand, boy.’ He laughs but it’s far from humorous; he can feel his heart pummelling in his chest and he grips Octavius’s hand a bit tighter, ‘if this is how we go out, then I wanna let you know how much I –’

‘No.’ Octavius cuts him off, and then his brown eyes bat owlishly, surprised at his own words, ‘I apologise, but…I cannot say goodbye. We are not going to perish at the han—  _paws_  of this monster. We have faced far bigger foes after all.’

Jed laughs again, this time with an ounce of wit, ‘you’re right about that. Alright then, rutabaga, let’s go kick some feline ass.’

‘What’s a rutabaga?’

‘It’s a cross between a cabbage and a turnip. Tastes awful.’

Octavius carefully unfastens the bolt on the door, trying not to let his hands tremble and they both cringe as it creaks open, filling the deserted hallways with sound. The lion is hunched over in the centre of the room, lapping up water from the giant bath but its head whips up as soon as it detects movement and it squares up to the pair menacingly. Octavius immediately goes to shield Jedediah, giving his sword a threatening swing to deter the animal from advancing; but to their surprise, rather than going for the kill, which would be easy for a lion so large, it cowers into the corner, back arched, snarling desperately, as if it just wants them both to go away rather than to fight.

Upon closer inspection, Jedediah feels himself grimace. Despite its size, the lion is in a very sorry state. It’s underweight, its whole body littered with scars and burns, and when it lifts its huge head, the cowboy can see that it only has one eye, the missing one seemingly gouged out. A chunk has been taken out of its ear too, the skin black and rotting. Wherever this lion had been before it came here (and Jed can only assume it was another miniature diorama somewhere in the world,) it hasn’t been treated too kindly.

Octavius notices the state of the animal as well. His grip on his sword loosens – and then he puts it away altogether. ‘By the Gods, I can’t do it. _Look_  at him, Jed.’

Jed is looking alright. He’s looking at the angry yellow eye and the sharp teeth and the claws pawing at the marble floor. ‘Don’t move, Octy! You’re gonna make him mad!’

‘He’s  _scared._ ’ Octavius retorts, crouching down to the floor until he is level with the growling cat, ‘if he wanted to kill us, we’d be dead by now.’

A fair point. The urge to move in the opposite direction to his Roman companion is still achingly present, but Jedediah remains stubbornly loyal, inching closer to where Octavius is squatted. The lion has stopped growling; its ears are flat behind its head and its tail flicks from side to side, like a prisoner dreading a firing squad.

‘Jedediah, step aside.’

The cowboy stares at the back of Octavius’s head, eyes comically wide, ‘Octy, don’t do it—’

‘Jed, just stand down.’

Silence. And then…

‘Please.  _Trust_  me.’

 _Shit_ , is all that goes through Jed’s mind as he finds himself stepping back six or seven paces,  _don’t do this Octy, I swear to God, if you get yourself eaten, I’m gonna kill you._

Octavius reaches up and removes his helmet, placing it gently on the ground next to him. The lion is still mute, licking its lips in a way that doesn’t seem to evoke hunger but rather a deep, inescapable anxiety of being so close to people. Someone, or a lot of people, have destroyed this marvellous animal, stripped it of all its courage and majesty. Octavius’s eyes begin to sting.

‘It’s alright,’ he says out loud and Jed quickly realises he isn’t talking to him. He’s addressing the lion, whose ears have perked in interest at the sound of his voice, ‘no one’s going to hurt you anymore, I promise.’

‘Baby, it’s a lion,’ Jed murmurs, still not moving a muscle; his hand reaches down in slow motion to grasp his gun, just for his own comfort, ‘I don’t think he understands what you’re saying.’

But unbelievable as it seems, Octavius’s speech appears to be working. With every word, the lion visibly relaxes and Jed wonders if, by some insane miracle, the magic in Ahkmenrah’s tablet somehow makes communication between man and beast possible. Larry claims to understand Dexter’s monkey babble every so often; perhaps the same applies with Romans and overgrown pussycats.

‘I know mankind has already done you a huge disservice, but I promise you will receive no such treatment here,’ Octavius goes on, reaching out a hand in the lion’s direction, ‘we can coexist, if you keep your teeth and claws to yourself. I’ll never let anyone harm you again, I swear on my life.’

One golden eye blinks curiously, and Jedediah concludes that yes, this lion definitely gets the gist of what Octavius is saying. It slowly drifts away from the corner, approaching the general in slow, cautious steps until they are nose to nose and Octavius can feel the heat of its breath against his paling skin.

Both men are frozen, waiting with baited breath, Jed’s fingers tightening around his weapon until his knuckles go white…

The lion puts its head on Octavius’s shoulder and gives a deep, content growl. Suddenly the world starts back up again and Jedediah remembers how to breathe.

* * *

The next few weeks are interesting, to say the least.

Larry isn’t overly impressed when he walks into the Hall of Miniatures before lights out and discovers one hundred and forty-nine Romans situated in the Old West, but once Jed and Octavius re-emerge unharmed and declare they have made a truce with their new furry friend, the hysteria dies down and everyone is back in their own dioramas by sunrise. Octavius’s people are safe, Felix promises Jeong that he will never throw himself in front of a lion again, and everybody agrees that, despite the harrowing circumstances, Amos’s banjo playing definitely lightened the mood. All in all, not a bad night.

Jed is glad that it’s all over, more so that it didn’t have to end in bloodshed. He even finds himself growing accustomed to having a giant lion (they’ve decided to call him “Rufus”) following him about on the daily, though he remains wary of the claws and teeth. Octavius, however, has been unusually withdrawn since their ordeal in the bathhouse, and Jedediah can’t help but notice how the Roman cringes with guilt whenever the animal is nearby.

‘Somethin’ the matter, Octy?’ Jed asks softly, peering up from where his head is cushioned on the general’s lap; they’ve finally got a moment to themselves, after hours spent helping Teddy shepherd a group of wayward capybaras back to the Hall of Mammals, but there’s something weighing on Octavius’s mind and Jedediah is determined to get to the bottom of it.

‘I’m fine,’ Octavius replies, unconvincingly. His gaze lingers on the lion, who is currently being bossed around by Kemosabe near one of the fountains in the square, ‘I just…I keep wondering where Rufus came from, and who treated him so badly.’

‘Why does it matter?’ Jed sits up, brushing a kiss against his lover’s cheek, ‘he’s safe now, he’s with us. Chuck patched him up the best he could and he’s nowhere near as nervous of people as he used to be. He seems really happy here.’

‘I know, I know. But Jed…the people who owned him before might have been Romans, like me.’

‘So what if they were?  _They_  did that to Rufus, not you.’

‘But don’t you see? I as an individual may not be responsible for Rufus’s suffering, but my culture is.’ Octavius hides his face in his hands, shoulders tensing, ‘they probably used him for gladiatorial games or some other blood sport, tortured him for the sake of entertainment. We’ve never practised it here because we’ve never had lions before, but if we did…’ he pauses, breath hitching in his throat as if he's about to cry, ‘it’s a tradition that goes back generations – and I’m ashamed of it.’

Jedediah opens his mouth, but is quickly silenced, as Rufus gets bored of being bullied by a house cat and barges between them to flop his giant head on Octavius’s lap. The general hesitates, carefully petting the beautiful thick mane and shaking his head at the sight of the large, fleshy hole where the poor creature’s right eye used to be. Jedediah notices.

‘Octy…’ he says as gently as he can, cupping Octavius’s jaw and tilting his head so their eyes can meet, ‘you shouldn't be afraid to question somethin' you find harmful because you're worried about dishonourin' tradition. Heck, nearly everyone in this damned museum has had to adjust their views on the world, for the sake of gettin’ along; Atilla used to think we were all savages who needed to be pillaged, Ahkmenrah had to learn to respect that not everyone believes in Egyptian Gods, and it took Gigantor givin’ us that long-ass reality check about tolerance before you and I could even speak to each other without comin' to blows. But we adapted to that change and now look where we are. We’ve all done things or said things that we’re not proud of in the name of tradition, and it’s hard to break out of that mindset and accept ideas that we’re not familiar with. But sometimes sacrificin' your own comfort to do the right thing is the only way to save yourself from ignorance.’

He notices Octavius hesitate and leans over to rub their noses together, ‘my point is, just because somethin’ is considered “traditional”, doesn’t mean you have to agree with it, especially if it involves torturin’ a living creature. We both know that what happened to Rufus was wrong and it should never be repeated here. You shouldn’t feel pushed to justify it just because it’s a part of your culture.’

‘But my people-’

‘-look up to you and respect your judgement,’ Jed cuts in, unable to stop his mouth from cracking into a smile as colour swirls into Octavius’s cheeks, ‘and once they get used to havin’ old Rufus around, I’m sure they’ll agree with you.’

Octavius sags in defeat, though he looks significantly less miserable than he did a moment before, ‘you’re a braver man than I, Jedediah.’

‘Says the guy who managed to talk down a lion,’ replies Jed, kissing along Octavius’s collarbone until the Roman hums in appreciation and presses closer, ‘I wonder if he chases lasers.’

‘Jed, no.’


End file.
